Thinking....

I'm not sure how to describe my mood day. I'm not either happy, sad, or angry, or really any emotion persay. I guess you could say that I am content and more than this...I feel like this is right. To be honest, this past year and a half has been a struggle for me. When I was a senior in high school, everyone was so excited to leave and go to college, because back then college seemed so simple. You can choose your classes and wake up everyday at 11 am. Hell, you didn't even have to go to classes if you wished. But what they never told me was that college is one of the hardest and loneliest challenges you will ever face. 

I mean you come to college leaving everything behind--your friends, your family, your life---just to start completely fresh and chase after your dreams. You are expected to start over and learn to be independent because let's face it, mommy and daddy are no longer here to hold your hand and make sure you get up for class. No. It's all up to you now. And it's lonely. You don't have the comforts of home and being in a place with people you have known your entire life. Instead you are thrown into a completely new environment with people that you may of otherwise not known and from there it's up to you whether you sink or swim. And only you CAN do any of it.

On top this new environment though, perhaps the hardest part is having security. Coming from high school, I knew that I was talented and I didn't have to belief for myself, because others believed in me. Not to say that I didn't believe in myself, but I was always reassured that I was good enough and that I would succeed. However, being a college student, at least for me, rarely do I feel secure, especially in my major. Here, surrounded by other students who are just as passionate if not more passionate than me, there are times that I don't know if I am good enough. In fact, many times I feel that I'm not. I'm not a good enough singer, musician, student, just everything....I'm not good enough and there are so many students here that are better than me. Yet, I still keep at. Even if at times I feel like the whole world is against me and that I am insane to keep going. I do it. But, still it has been hard to keep going and push through it. However, the point is not so much that college has been hard because it is college after all. The point is what I have come to live for. What made this all worthwhile in the end is the few days where everything just seems to come together perfectly. And today was one of those days.

Today I was told by one of my professors that she loved reading my reflections because she could see how much I care about my students and how I am concerned in getting my students to learn to love or at least appreciate music. And because of this, she said that I was going to be a great teacher. Sometimes it is nice to know that all of this is worth it. That all these struggles, all my doubts, all those sleepless nights actually mean something. It is nice to be assured, when often you are just told what you need to improve upon or fix about yourself. I struggle with thinking that I will be a good teacher, and that this is all worth it and most importantly, the right thing for me. But not today. Just for today, I know that this is all worth it and that this is what I am meant to do. So I guess what I am trying to say from all this reflection is that don't give up. If any of you who are reading this are like me and have doubts, be strong because it will all end well. You'll see. Just hold on tight to your dreams and keep pushing, because this is all a test and when you reach the top of that mountain there's a glorious sunrise waiting for you. And if my words aren't enough Shel Silverstein's should suffice.





-Z

VESPERS AKA welcome to hell week

Today was the first day of the many Vespers rehearsals to come. Needless to say, where's the bleach? Already I can tell this is going to be a long process, but thankfully we got out early today. I'm sorry. I don't mean to complain, but really if you knew what being Vespers is like. It's completely exhausting. Rehearsals all week from 7 to 10 and sometimes later, on top of a full school load is insane, and not to mention Vespers is not like an ordinary concert. No, it's like the epic of all concerts with four performances. Can we talk about how demanding it can really be? Don't get me wrong it isn't ALL bad though. To be honest, Vespers itself can be really magical and overall breath-taking. But the process getting there is what completely drives me crazy. I think it could have been better today if the weather decided to cooperate. Stupid rain! Oh well, you know what they say you can't have rain all the time. I'm actually hoping for some snow soon. You know to welcome in Christmas. Plus then Vespers would feel like what it is suppose to be...a Christmas concert!!!

Till then here's a picture to remind us of all of winter break and Christmas!

-Z

Return to Millikin

I have to love the dreaded last night of break before the return to school. All of you should know exactly what I am referring to. You know the realization that you forgot to write this paper that you should have done over break that is worth 20% of your grade and now have to scramble to write all before Monday morning. Yes, that is exactly my experience every break. I always tell myself I am going to be super productive. I'm going to write my final paper for my class, work on my piano, finish my scrapbook, actually study for ear training rather than saying that I did, etc. Yet, at the end of break, I almost always find myself to be the biggest procrastinator. 

Just today, as I went to CVS to get some supplies, my cashier asked me if I had happened to write my history paper yet and my response: "Nope. Is it due tomorrow?" 

His: "No. It's due Wednesday." 

Mine: "Okay...good I have till Tuesday."

I am just a procrastinator. End of story. On the bright side, at least I know I am not alone. SO for any college student out there who just got back from Thanksgiving break here are a few sites you may appreciate.

The first is somewhat outdated...but I am sure is something that we have all done at some point.

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/24AieZ/asil.logicalinsanity.ca/300college%2520paper.html 

And the second is just to give you some tunes to listen to while writing those last minute papers. 

http://www.pandora.com/#/ 

Just remember, we are all in this together (No pun intended).

-Z

Fast Food Etiquette

I know that I should probably discuss my life as a sophomore college student BUT I think what is more appealing and applicable right now is my life as a working student. Now don't get me wrong this is my second post on my fabulous job at Burger King. AND I know that there are times that I really hate it, but I do actually enjoy my job sometimes. I mean I love my fellow coworkers. Honestly, I feel like whenever I come back to work I am so welcome and I am at home. Each one of my coworkers is like part of my family. They hug me when I have had a bad day, laugh with me over the craziness, and make me smile when the job is just too stressful. So it's not the job that is so bad, but really sometimes it is the customers.

I have been working at Burger King for six months, and still the thing that amazes me most is what I have to deal with in regards with the customers. Sometimes I feel like some people go out to fast food restaurants and think that the people behind the counter are their mother and father or worse, their maids. Honestly, I feel like I have a sign on my forehead that reads: "I am your maid. Please leave a mess for me so that I can do my job." So I have to wonder....what do people learn when it comes to fast food etiquette? Because I can assure you that I learned that WE, as in the customers, are supposed to clean up after ourselves. However, here's my list of what I consider common fast food etiquette, or rules.

1. When it comes to drive-thru, please have your order already in mind and ready to tell to the cashier. They are being timed and with every second you say "Can I have a minute?" you are screwing them over. Also, there is another menu for a reason. Look at that first.

2. Please do not waste time by searching for change. If you are going to take ten years to get to the window AND not have your change ready, then what are you doing? Just have it ready for the cashier. It makes things easier.

3. Don't change your order at the window. This makes the cashier have to make a void, and honestly is just a big hassle. Just have your mind made up.

4. When the cashier tells you to "Hold on," that means hold on. When I am working, I have to do tons of things. And most of the time, I am taking care of another customer at the same time as trying to take your order. Please just be understanding and wait for me please. We will appreciate it.

5. After the cashier hands you the food, that means you leave. Don't stay in drive thru for the next 30 seconds to taste test, take a sip of your drink, put away all your change, rearrange all the food in the bag. Again, we are being timed and really this is not necessary.

6. Also, when we ask you to park, please just cooperate. I am not doing it be a jerk or keep you from your food, I am just being timed. And I need you to just park so that I can help the next person. Please be understanding.

7.  Lastly, when in-store,  the only problem I can say is please clean up after yourselves. If you spilled, tell the front cashier or manager. If you dropped a napkin, pick it up. Just put your tray away, dump the trash, and be on your way.

My job is only to give you the food and collect the money, what you do after that is not my job or my responsibility. It would make all my fellow cashiers happy and of course Ed (you know, "Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger. Can I take your order?") happy.

Just food for thought...

-Z

BLACK FRIDAY...the start of Christmas?

Ahh...Black Friday! The thing that I look most forward to about Thanksgiving. I mean who wouldn't what with all the great deals, specials, and super buys anyone can imagine all within the wee hours of the morning. But yes, wait, what about the never-ending lines, frigid weather, and the many elderly women ready to pounce on you for the best deals? Yep...sounds like heaven right there. Now Black Friday isn't all that bad....I mean really if you capitalize your time, you CAN really get the best deals like new release movies for $3, or $100 laptops as compared to $200 or more. But, the whole process is something that, to be completely honest, drives me insane. 

As if it weren't already obvious, yes, I did participate in this year's Black Friday festivities. And yes, I did get some good deals. However, there were definitely things I would have changed. First starting with my first start of the night, Old Navy. Old Navy was perhaps on of my best trips in the regards that I had the most savings there and got a lot for my money. However, the line was horrible only because of the "situation" that had occurred. My sister, her boyfriend, my nephew, my boyfriend, and I at last minute had decided to go to Old Navy since we found out that it was going to open at midnight on Friday. Moving quickly, we piled in the car like a bunch of Mexicans and stepped on it to get to Old Navy. Once inside, it was INSANE! There were so many people there, that within minutes some of the sale items were being diminished to astonishing numbers. Clothes began to litter the floor like seeds, upon the top of fresh soil, yet to be buried. It was pure chaos. After quickly getting our selections, we joined the already formed line, thankfully due to the quick thinking of my sister's boyfriend. And the line itself was fine, but it wasn't until we had reached the front that I could complain. One of their employees was designated to assign the different customers to the registers, in order to move (hopefully) more efficiently, and most importantly, faster. When all of us has reached the front of the line, without thinking we all went as a group to the assigned register, which all was fine and dandy...UNTIL...the manager came up to my sister and my nephew to kick them out of the register for "cutting in line" and she told them to "go to the end of the line." Now normally, I am not one to speak my mind, however we had been waiting for at least an hour or more to get to the front, and to be honest, it was partially our mistake for not realizing we should have gone one at a time. Despite this, I approached the manager after she had left and told her that I felt that this was completely unfair since they had been waiting in line with us the whole time. I then proceeded to apologize for not realizing to go one at a time, but assured her that they were in fact in line. And thanks to my mature handling of the situation, they got their items and did not have to the end of the line.

I guess what bothers me most about this case is how the manager had handled it. To be completely honest, she was a you-know-what and she did not bother listening to my sister or my nephew, or at least until I spoke up for them. I feel like there was a breakdown in the communication cycle somewhere and that this could have been completely avoided. However, I can understand the stress of Black Friday, I mean I am a working girl after all. But probably the store that wins the cake for being the most ridiculous is... Victoria's Secret. One it had no sales AND four sales people, yet it took close to an hour and a half just to get to the front of the line. All I have to say is what a way to start the season of Christmas...

On the bright side, I did get all of my shopping done and new clothes for practicum. Woo! Now to only catch up on those precious hours of sleep that I lost....

Tis the season for giving after all.

-Z

P.S. Highlight of the day:  Surprisingly, at work, when we put up our Christmas tree!!!

 

Ode to Burger King

Q: How is your break so far?

A: What break?

I’m not sure whether to feel happy about this, or upset, or if I even feel anything at all. I am one of the many college students who have to work to pay for their own education. Bet you didn’t know that? But, I do. I go home every other weekend to work at my fast food job at the un-fabulous BK Lounge. And although I cannot say that I dislike my job more than any other person on this planet, I wish that I could be a kid again. Sometimes I wish it would all slow down… That I could stop the seasons from changing all too soon so that I can enjoy that first snowflake or rose bud. But, I can’t. With each day, I go older and as one of my favorite song says, “the world spins madly on.”

This is one of the first steps towards being an adult…a job. But I hate that I’m working practically full time as a 19 year old. I hate that my life as become a pattern of school work school work school work. I look around and I see my friends enjoying their time here, and meanwhile I am slaving away once again at either school or work. I just want to be a kid again and get lost in the make believe world of princesses and dragons. But most of all, I want to feel alive again. I want to feel like my world isn’t ending, but rather it’s a new beginning. Till then, this is my ode to the Burger King Lounge:

 

"Oh Burger King,

Burger King,

That hideous name,

The smell trapped on my skin

Always drives me insane."

-Z

First Entry...Get Excited!!!

So I figure to be completely honest, I have to say that this entire blog is part of an assignment for a class. And to keep with being "honest," this may very well be only for the duration of my English class BUT you never know...

Perhaps I will become a great blogger, whose words will touch thousands and inspire them to go out and seize the day! Or the more likely result may very well be that the only ones who will EVER read this fabulous blog is all of you, my fellow English classmates. Whichever the case, this is an assignment and I was never good at not following directions or not doing my homework. So from this point on starts my real blog.

Get excited!

-Z